Well the time had come where my parents needed to return back to Utah. I have such a great relationship with my parents that I was heartbroken they had to leave us. There was something about being in a huge city, different state, a baby very premature, and our little Nevaeh 8 1/2 hrs away from us. I was so homesick for my family. The night they said their goodbyes I was still in the hospital and would not be leaving for another two or three days. I was beside myself. I wanted with everything i had to chase them down the hallway like a little kid and beg them to stay. Although I had Matt with me I was all alone because I would only see him a couple hrs a day and he would head to work. I guess all alone isn't t the right word either because I did have my Hudson man just right down the hallway. I spent all the time I could in there with him. Every couple hrs the NICU team would do rounds. So all the docs, nurses, respitory therapists, students, interns, pharmacy and so many others were in on these. I tried to make it to the rounds to get the "just" of it and everyone's thoughts on our little mans conditions. At times it was great and others I would just cry and be so confused. All the big words and the plan for the day and how they were feeling on his progress could be so discouraging at times. I think any parent who has been a NICU parent knows exactly what the NICU Rollercoaster is all about!!!! The machines were so hard to listen to and watch and it was never fun to be sitting there and the alarm sound and about 3 nurses come running to get your baby to start breathing again even being on the vent. In the beginning I got to touch him and talk to him through an isolate which was better then nothing. I couldn't wait til the day I got to hold him. I was very nervous and wasn't rushing it because I wanted him to be safe and stable. It was definitely trying at times to feel like you were so helpless. It's our jobs as mothers to comfort our babies and take care of them and I wasn't able to do any of that for him in the beginning but very little.....
I did have a lot to look forward too. I had two friends coming out to spend the weekend with me while Matt worked and to meet our new little man!!!!! Thank goodness for amazing friends!!
